Hello there! :)

TWO.YEARS.

Well, almost 2 years. Every time I try to remember the bits of what happened in those 2 years, some come out blurry but most of it, especially the times that the grace of God was extremely present, are vividly clear. If you are my Facebook friend or a follower of my #BraveSaab's journey, or have read my last post in this blog, then you probably know that my baby girl was diagnosed with a Chronic Liver Disease and underwent a liver transplant. We left in July 2018 and had the liver transplant on the same month. And that was the start of another roller coaster ride. We had to stay in India for 18 months -- from July 2018 to January 2020. Why? That, I think, should be on a separate post for it to be as detailed. For now, allow me to give you a rundown of what happened in to me in the past 2 years of being away from the beauty (blogging) world. 

1. I became a mom.
In September 2017, I gave birth to my lovely baby girl, Saab. My pregnancy was so smooth that I did not expect to have an issue just days before my supposed due date. During a random checkup, my doctors found out that I lost most of the water and that I had to give birth via emergency CS that very moment. It happened so fast that I was in the hospital at around 3:00PM and Saab came out at around 5:49PM.

2. I/We did fundraising drives.

Five (5) months through Saab's life, she was diagnosed with a Chronic Liver Disease and was advised to undergo a liver transplant. It was a disease of an unknown origin until now. Unfortunately, Saab is so special that she got to be diagnosed with a so-called rare pediatric liver disease.

We were raising against time. We needed to raise about 3 million pesos for the transplant to be done in India. It can be done in the Philippines but we needed more funds for that so we decided to have it done abroad. We sold shirts, organized some fundraising activities, ran online fundraising campaigns, asked help from friends, family, and strangers, went to government offices for assistance, and the list continues. I never thought I could do those things. It is indeed true that you can do everything, as in every d*mn thing, for your child.

3. I learned ho to put my guards down and begged for help.

For those who know me well, you possibly know how I try to be independent in all ways. I rarely ask for help. I seldom share my problems to people, even to friends, for I know I can solve and overcome them on my own. I never want others to see me weak and helpless. But #BraveSaab's made everything about me different.

In just a few months, I learned how to accept that I couldn't face that problem alone and that it was impossible to sail through this journey without other's help. I put all my guards down, swallowed every bit of pride in me and asked help and support to everyone I know. It was hard but it was humbling. I got to be introduced to a new side of my self I never knew exist. I never thought that a strong girl can actually become even stronger with the help of others. I became a new person.

4. I became a liver donor.

Through the generosity and kindness of family, friends, and people we hardly know, we flew to India in July 2018. In just a week's time, we had the transplant. E and I were both eligible but as a mother, I insisted to just be the donor for my brave girl. And by doing so, I have done the most essential reason of my existence!

I will be sharing more on my journey as an organ donor on a separate post.

Side story: I was so 'arte' when I was pregnant that I did everything to prevent having any pregnancy marks. Yes, I do not have any scratch or stretch marks. I even requested for a very low, bikini CS cut! Little did I know that my abdominal area would be subjected to an even bigger yet most meaningful scar, ever. Hello, liver donor scar! :)

5. We stayed in India for 18 months.

Not everyone who goes to India for medical treatments stay that long. We just happened to be, yet again, the lucky ones. Saab had a complication after transplant. She had to undergo multiple surgeries, tube insertions, procedures, and tests to possible address the complication. Unfortunately, nothing seemed to work permanently. We stayed in India for 18 months with the hopes that all will be well. 

I can no longer count the number of times I cried (bawled, actually). I broke down multiple times. I learned how to hold on to the thinnest string of hope there was. I prayed more than ever. I knelt and asked for chances. I died inside a number of times.

Despite those, it was also in those 18 months I learned how to be braver and stronger than before. I celebrated even the smallest achievements. I learned how to focus just on the positive sides and reject all the negatives. I became a new, better person. I believe I am now a better wife and an even better mother.

6. We, especially Saab, become living testimonies of God's greatness and miracles.

Saab became so ill and no treatments seemed to work. During those times, we only held to our faith. We surrendered everything to God for we know that He has the best plan for all of us. I begged Him to give Saab the healing she deserves, may it be an earthly or heavenly one. True to His promises, God laid His healing hands on to Saab. Miraculously, Saab got better. Everyone was so surprised that she was able to overcome and surpassed those she had undergone. It was almost impossible. But nothing is impossible to the Great Healer. He sent His miracles on Saab's way.

Things may still not be completely okay but we are in a much better situation. We are back home with Saab in a better condition. The battle has not ended and never will it end but through the grace of God and the good hearts of people around us, we know that we got this!

I still have more stories to tell! For now, let us all be happy that I am reviving this blog and rekindling an old flame with blogging. Giveaway soon?

Love,
♥ Jes ♥