Saying Hello to a New Year with a Lighter Heart and a Dose of Hope

As the new year begins, I find myself standing at a crossroads—reflecting on how heavy and devastating the past years were and looking forward to what lies ahead for me. Like many, I have faced personal struggles, the hardest I could ever imagine; but this year, I bow to again try to bounce back. The journey to this place has been long, painful, and at times, overwhelming. This is the year I will try return to myself, to the things that once brought me joy, and to the beauty that has always been a source of solace.

The Heaviest Year

The end of 2023 and the entire 2024 have been unlike anything I ever imagined. In a span of time that feels both like a lifetime and the blink of an eye, I lost my child after years of battling against her disease, and with that loss, I felt like I lost my soul. During these time, I was going back and forth with the idea of trying to cope with that reality. The grief, the heartache, the emptiness—it all consumed me. It felt as though the very foundation of my life had been shaken, leaving me struggling to find my footing.

I lost the spark that had once driven me. The joy that came so naturally, the passion that fueled my days, the will to move forward—everything felt distant and out of reach. I couldn’t see the point of it all. I could barely find the strength to smile, let alone laugh. I was adrift in a sea of sorrow and uncertainty.

Finding Hope in the Darkness

But even in the darkest moments, a small, flickering light of hope has been there, quietly burning. It hasn’t been bright, nor has it been constant. It’s more like a spark that dances in and out of view, but it’s enough to remind me that healing is possible. Slowly, I’ve begun to accept that life doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful. That sometimes, I have to find time to see the beauty lies in the cracks, the imperfections, and the resilience, especially when we choose to keep going.

The grief and loss I’ve endured have taught me lessons I never wanted to learn, but they’ve also given me a deeper understanding of what truly matters. I’ve come to believe that while the scars may never fully fade, they can be worn proudly. They are part of my story, part of what makes me who I am. And with each new day, I feel a bit more ready to embrace the person I’ve become.

Returning to Beauty

For so long, I had lost my connection to beauty—both the external world and the inner beauty that once radiated from within me. Beauty used to be a big part of my life.  Beauty was a language I spoke fluently.  It was a source of joy, a reason to smile. It was also a connection I have with my daughter. She loved makeup, the same way I loved it. And I find the need to rekindle that love as an honor of her.

Now, as I stand on the edge of a new chapter, I will try to to return to that beauty. Not as the person I once was, but as the almost 40-year-old woman I’ve become. I know now that beauty isn’t about perfection—it’s about embracing who I am at this moment in time. I’ll be returning to beauty in my own way, to again make me smile and as a connection to my baby girl up above. 

The Promise of a New Year

Healing takes time, and there’s no set timeline for when we should “move on” or “get over it.” There is no right or wrong way to navigate grief, to embrace change, or to find hope. But there is always room for growth, for rediscovery, and for renewal.

As I look ahead to this new year, I carry with me the lessons of the past, the strength born from loss, and the spark of hope that things will get better. I may not know exactly what the future holds, but I’m ready to face it with a lighter heart, knowing that beauty, joy, and love are still possible, even after the hardest of times.

Here’s to a new year—one where we choose to heal, to embrace, and to live with intention. To a year where we find our spark again, no matter how small, and let it light the way forward.

Happy and a hopeful new year to you! ✨